Journal
by agnam13
Summary: A blue haired girl who was chased to the point of stress induced memory loss and exhaustion, is stuck trying to find her true identity. But 8 years later, what does one brown haired, wandering Kunoichi have that could be tied to the first incident?
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_

She rushed through the trees, icy blue hair steaming behind her like a mad herd of wild mustangs. Her eyes glance behind on the route that she came through with an intense mix of emotions.

"I won't make it! Oh, please make it!"

Her pursuer's shadow whipped on the trees to match the pace of the icy-haired girl. Branches grabbed at her, tearing her well-kept, yet blood spattered, clothes. But she didn't care -she was still emotionally and physically scarred from what she had just witnessed. Why did they have to die? Why? Jumping from the branches, she stumbled -yet remained upright- onto the ground. What had happened? Why did it happen? How had It happened? Questions flooded her mind as she raced to wards the village up ahead. She didn't even know why she was running. Was she running in fear, or resolution? But, in resolution of what? How?

Suddenly, a sharp, Metallic object hit her left shoulder from above, for her pursuer had stayed in the trees. She cringed and muffled a painful scream. Even more blood soaked onto her black top. The deep crimson liquid flowed steadily from the wound that the object was lodged deeply into. She became even more... afraid? No, that wasn't the word. Concerned, Anxious, Sad, Angry, what was this feeling? A stronger resolve? Yes, that was what was flowing through her every thought and feeling. Warm, salty liquid gathered together at the edges of her deep purple, anger inflicted eyes.

The figure who was chasing her jumped onto the ground and landed delicately, unlike the person before it. The girl made a weak attempt to injure her opponent, throwing anything sharp within her pale, shaking reach, for she was still in deep shock and was not able to react as well as she was normally able. The figure simply dodged, and didn't even retaliate with another attack, but kept on the chase, none the less. Slowly, a weak grin desperately tugged at the edges of the icy-haired girl's grief-stricken expression. The gates of the village loomed steadily closer on the horizon like a weak, yet blinding light at the end of a scared pathway on the edge of death. Her speed increased in a last, desperate sprint for life, but she was steadily matched by the pursuing mass of shadow. The girl's legs were numb, and her feet were bleeding -a pain she had never experienced before. Open gates, calling out to her -they were her last hope! never again would she take large, open gates for granted. Unable to contain it any longer, she yells out from the incomprehensible pain. Sprinting with all the life left in her to wards the gates, She stumbled in fatigue. So dizzy! She skidded to a slow and painful halt.

"S-sa-afe..."

Her vision became flecked with spots , and the dark colored spots soon ate at the edges her vision until She was overcome with darkness. The girl collapsed out of exhaustion and shock, right inside the Konoha gates.


	2. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

The cover over my senses slowly began to lift, as my hearing slowly began to awaken. Unknown sounds were soon identified as voices. My glassy eyes started to flicker, as though waking from ancient sleep. I was in a white room- completely colorless. The room was completely neutral to all emotion, not a positive, yet not a negative thought either. Void. It was like there was contention between the light and darkness, neither side giving any ground, holding strong to it's own conviction. I was laying on a soft, but well worn bed. It was used before, but it was harder to detect.

"What do you think happened to her?"

"How should I know? If you so concerned, ask her."

A moan of pain emitted from my mouth, as I felt a sharp pain in my left shoulder.

"Eh? Sleeping beauty is back from the dead!"

The voice I heard was of female gender, and was joking and friendly.

I could trust them. I slowly sat up.

"Wha--" I started to speak, but it was some how... unfamiliar to me.

"Don't tell me- where are you and what are you doing here, is that correct?" the joking voice inquired

"um..." It wasn't what I really wanted to say- I wanted to say 'what the heck happened to me', but from the conversation I over heard earlier, I knew that they were as clueless as I was.

"Oh, that's ok, you probably are tired and want to rest- oh, well my name is- how about something to eat?" the first, overly friendly female said.

"Oi, oi! slow down Yotaka! You aren't even giving her time to answer any of your questions!" sometimes I swear you have ADD...

I laughed aloud at the last comment. ADD? goodness... that WOULD explain the absolutely flippant nature...

"...What's so funny?" the girl named Yotaka inquired, her face plastered with absolute curiosity.

"Oh... well... the person over there..." I said while pointing to the other girl "made some sort of comment about... ADD?"

Yotaka became even more confused and the other girl's face turned a light shade of red with embarrassment.

"Maein, what is she talking about? are you sure she isn't possessed?"

"Um..." Maein started a flustered, choppy sentence. It was obvious that she was completely uncomfortable with the situation. "H-how did you?..."

"how did I what?"

"...Never mind..."

Apparently Yotaka can't stay quiet for more that 3 sentences, so she spared Maein from a nagging-till-I-get-the-answer from me. I'm evil that way.

"So! What's your name?"

"Me? My name is-"

"NO! Let Yotaka guess! Maein should help Yotaka, too!"

"Yeah, I'll help you... I guess... oh, and quit talking about yourself in third person!"

"I-" I was pretty annoyed of being cut off all the time. It was getting on my nerves.

"Is your name... Suika?"

"No, of course not Yotaka! does she _look_ like a watermelon to you?!"

"Oh, I guess not."

"Let's see... OOOH! Is it Amaya?

"I-"

"what is it? come on, tell us!"

"I-"

"Oh, quit cutting her off Yotaka!"

"I-"

"Well?"

"My name is-" I came to a sudden realization- a jolt of emptiness. It was almost as if nothing had existed before. Nothing to reflect on to the past that made me who I was. It was as if purpose was... hypothetical.

"I... don't..." An involuntary tear streaked down my face. "I don't... know!"

Maein and Yotaka were silent. Shocked, probably. Frustrated with themselves for being so gay and naive. Words were to be chosen carefully...

"Oh..."

"My..."

"GOSHWEARESOSORRYPLEASEFORGIVEUSWEDIDN'TKNOW! GOMEN NASAI!!!"

Careful wording, my butt.

I smiled weakly. But it was fake. Life... without a purpose, you were nothing. Without a goal, life itself was meaningless. But, for the mean time, I did have a purpose- it was to find one.

"I'm fine guys..." I wiped away a tear as best I could with the back of my right arm, as it hurt too much to move the left one. "Thank you for showing your concern..."

As always, (If you count, like, 5 minutes 'as always'...) Yotaka saved us all from an obnoxiously awkward silence.

"Well... we WERE going to tell you that the Hokage wanted to speak with you as soon as you woke up... but... do you need some more time? Are you ready to speak with him?"

Hokage. That meant that I was in Konoha.

I shook my head 'no' "I will speak with him now..."

"Oh... well... let's go?" She obviously didn't know whether to let me walk by myself, or plop me onto a hospital stretcher. This was my cue.

"I can walk there without help. Just lead the way.

Maein helped me to my feet, and Yotaka, to be quite frank, stood there like an idiot. Totally awkward.

"Um... yeah..."

I walked to the door, Yotaka and Maein in front of me. I took one last look at the room I was in. From here on, anything and everything was new.

"Um... miss... are you o.k.?" Maein looked a bit more worried than before.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

And with that, I took my first step outside the room, into a new world.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Oh, I forgot to mention- I don't own Naruto, the person or the anime. Ok, drabble! I met a dude named Shinobu yesterday- at a hobby store, working the cash register. Cool, huh?

* * *

_**Chapter 2 **_

There was a calm bustle In the hall, which was lined with numerous, numbered doors on either side. 102, 104, 106... I ran my hand over the left side of the hallway, which had the even numbered doors. I took it all in. The texture of the wall, the mood of the attendants, heck, even the length of the shadows that the doors were casting down onto the ground. White was the favored color. It wasn't appealing. White walls, white ceiling, white doors... Every now and then, I would catch a glimpse of a bit of off-cream. Or in other words, White-but-not-quite. D-ra-b! God, I swear that I will never be able to rest easily in a hospital thingy mabob again. Why? It's the lack of color in a poorly constructed building with absolutely no... well, I don't know exactly what it was that it lacked, but it was something that gave me shivers every time I thought about it.

Maein and Yotaka led me through the halls, with our favorite hyper active girl leading our way. Yotaka's gleeful stride was light and bouncy, making her yellow-blonde ponytail swing in time to the pace she kept. Maein was more calm and collected, but I DEFINITELY wouldn't say that she was shy. She had shorter brown hair which she let hang down. They had a mature air about them both- Maein and Yotaka were probably both about 25 or 30. And then there was me- a young, teenage-looking misfit. My hair was a few inches above my shoulder, and was a odd color of blue, almost like dry ice and blue food coloring mixed together and forcefully thrust onto my head. Oh, and did I forget to mention that the state that my hair was in looked like I was asleep for 3 months, while tossing and turning from a dastardly nightmare? Well, technically I had, but I don't know how long I was asleep, and didn't know if I really had a nightmare. That and the fact that there were bits of leaves in my hair. They couldn't have been there unless I sleepwalked, which was highly unlikely. Well, you get my point. Life was kind of giving me a semi-cold shoulder right now. I was really getting sick of this 'white' color, and the temperature was nothing to be fond of. Well, in that case, I guess life was giving me a lukewarm shoulder instead of an actual cold one.

As we walked down the hallway, I noticed that all of the doors were closed... Except for one. It was probably perfectly normal, but I was abnormally curious. I stole a quick peek around the frame of the white- as always- door.

"No! I'm fine, I'm not hurt..."

"oh? what do you call that?"

"Ow! watch it!"

"aw, your so cute when you try to be tough!"

"B-be quiet!"

A small boy around the age of five or six sat upright on the hospital bed, with his short legs dangling off the side. A nurse in a white uniform was kneeling in front of the boy with a bottle of cleaning fluid and a pad of white gauze in her hand, cleaning a scrape on his knee that looked a couple days old, at the most. The six-year-old was... glaring at her? It would have looked funny, if it didn't seem like he was absolutely serious- He seemed... old for his age.

"Oi! Ice head!" I turn around, hearing Yotaka's exceptionally loud voice- it's hard to miss. I walk away from the door frame not risking being discovered by the rooms' occupants. "

Yeah?"

"let's get going, slowpoke!"

"Right. I must not keep 'Yotaka the Great' waiting."

"that's right! Now feel my wrath!"

_conk! _

"Ow! What the heck was that for!" "

I dunno. It makes me feel powerful... and influence like!"

I stared at the back of her head in bewilderment, as she skipped swiftly past me. And I trusted her why?

* * *

"are you sure? You don't even know how we found you, and why you were in that state in the first place. Your identity and background are also a mystery."

"Yes, Hokage-sama. I respect your concern, but I believe it is better for me to leave."

"what motivates you in this way?"

"I feel my background so close, but I already know that Konoha is not for me. I have a feeling, deep down, that I was not originally part of this system. I want to find my own path, and seek my identity alone."

"I see. I do not know the situation, but I believe that you should conceal yourself, just in case."

I regretted to cover my true self up, but I agreed- It would be for my own good. I had no idea what was after me, or why.

Hokage Sarutobi reached in and pulled something out of his desk.

"Here, catch!"

I cradled the thing softly as it landed in my hands. I opened up my cupped fingers to reveal a village headband. But the funny thing was, it was blank.

"when you find your true Identity, carve it into the metal on the band. That way, you can always remember."

He smiled at me- I saw that an identical headband was dangling between his fingers, but it had his name scratched into it.

"Thank you, sir. I will always remember your hospitality."

"And I will as well. You are free to leave."

That small dismissal was all that I needed. Gathering up the small pack that the Hokage had prepared, I changed into some versatile clothing that had also been given to me. Not bothering to say goodbye to my two escorts, who by now doubled as friends, I darted through the gates, making my way to only God-knows-where.

Konoha would never see me the way I was again.


End file.
